We Fucked UP!!!!! – UK Met Office

…But yesterday the weathermen officially admitted that their prediction of a 'barbecue summer' had been hopelessly wrong.

And the bad news for millions of holidaymakers, many of whom had opted to stay in Britain on the strength of the optimistic forecast, is that after a soggy July, August will be no better.

It was in April that the Met Office proclaimed the chances were 'odds-on for a barbecue summer'. Rather like Michael Fish in October 1987, after he mockingly dismissed claims that a hurricane was on its way, the aptly-renamed 'Wet Office' was forced to confess its shortcomings yesterday.

'Seasonal forecasting is still a new science,' it said in defence. 'It's something we are still building on.'

Fucking idiots. Can’t forecast weather a few months ahead so small are their datasets, knowledge of systems and processing power. Yet, these publicly funded quangos claim to know ‘beyond a doubt’ what the climate is going to do over periods of decades.

Kind of like that fearmongering of ‘global cooling’ that was all the rage in the late 70’s.

They got that completely fucking wrong too (or to put it another way, the climate decided to disagree with them).

Remember though, that all of the billions of dollars/ pounds of hard working peoples’ money that is being funnelled into these quango’s is not to warn you ‘for your safety’, but to scare you into submission.

Hotter or colder doesn’t make a difference, as long as you do what you’re fucking told.

Good serf, now fuck off and give us some taxes and stop asking questions.